Thank You Celtics

Five years ago, in the summer of 2007, the Boston Celtics were mired in the worst stretch in their franchise history. Not only had they gone 21 years without a championship banner, but they had also had one of the worst seasons any Celtics team had ever endured. After desperately tanking the 2006-2007 season in order to have a shot at one of two potentially franchise altering players (Greg Oden and Kevin Durant), the Celtics entered the lottery with the second best chance to win the #1 overall pick. For a team that had missed out on the best power forward ever exactly 10 years earlier despite having the best odds, many Celtics fans figured this time around would be retribution for having Tim Duncan slip from their grasp. Naturally, they ended up with the #5 overall pick (or as it's better known, the moment where I almost became a 13 year old alcoholic). Just another unlucky moment in a long string of unlucky moments that started with the death of Len Bias two days after he was drafted in 1986. At the time, I was devastated. Even though I was only in middle school I understood the gravity of the situation. The fifth pick meant no Oden or Durant. It meant that Paul Pierce would likely be traded. It meant that the Celtics were looking at another 10 seasons of mediocrity.

Except things didn't turn out that way.

You see, after the Celtics lost the lottery in 2007, they decided to accelerate the process of building a championship contender rather than starting from scratch again. You all know the story by now: The C's dealt for Ray Allen, the greatest three-point shooter of all time, then swung a massive blockbuster trade for perennial All-Star and former MVP forward Kevin Garnett, forming a Hall of Fame trio with Paul Pierce reminiscent of legendary Celtics teams featuring the names Bird, Parish and McHale. The New Big Three swept us off our feet, simultaneously changing the culture of the Celtics from a consistent loser to a organization where winning was the only thing that mattered while posting the second best regular season record in Celtics history en route to raising a 17th championship banner with a victory over the hated Los Angeles Lakers that summer. In one whirlwind season, the Celtics went from rebuilding for another decade to champions. In effect, Garnett, Pierce, and Allen saved basketball in Boston.

From there, the Celtics battled through bad breaks (Garnett injuring his knee in 2009, Perkins injuring HIS knee in the 2010 Finals, Rondo's elbow bending in half the wrong way in 2011, the multitude of injuries in 2012) to have a highly successful five year run. One championship, two Finals appearances, three trips to the conference finals, and innumerable memories, some of which I've had the fortune to experience firsthand. Through it all, one thing remained constant: These guys cared. And that's what made it such a special experience. When they won, you felt elated because you knew how much pain and effort and work that this team put in day out. When they came up short, you felt the biting venom of defeat with them for those same reasons. By this season, we had become so familiar with them that we knew when Paul Pierce was going to take an irrational shot that had no business going through the net, and yet we weren't surprised when it (almost inevitably) did. We watched Ray Allen weave in in out of screens so much that we had a better idea of where he was going than most defenders did. We saw so many moments where Kevin Garnett raised the intensity level to new heights that we didn't understand why other teams never could quite seem to match it. This Celtics team became part of us.

Last night, as the Celtics were in the final stages of losing Game 7 to Miami, I had a strange epiphany. Most of the time the Celtics losing Game 7 of a series in which they led 3-2 and had a chance to close out their opponents at home (and subsequently no-showed at said game when I was in attendance) would send me into a deep depression for weeks where I would disappear from society, grow a beard, and start drinking milk on the sidewalk during hot summer days. But the amazing thing is, I wasn't sad, at least not for the conventional reason of "My team lost a huge game that would have gotten them to their respective sport's championship round." I was able to come to grips pretty quickly with the fact that the Celtics older legs finally ran out of gas and LeBron James is really good at basketball. Instead, I was sad because that was the last time that the Celtics' New Big Three would compete for a championship. It was the last chance for three players who forever changed the fortunes of the franchise to go to the NBA Finals together. Ray Allen's post-game press conference said it all.(Hold on, I'm in a glass case of emotion. And yes, that's two Anchorman references in one paragraph. Don't act like you're not impressed.) This was it, their last stand, their swan song, and even though they couldn't put away the Heat, they still showed the heart of a champion.

Considering all they've already done, that was more than enough for me.

Thank you Celtics.

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a Running Diary of Game 1?

Miami. Boston. Eastern Conference Finals. Possible last playoff series for the Big 3. Am I going to try and do running diaries of every game? Yes. Will it be excruciating when Miami wins this series in 5 and I've decided to chronicle every moment? Yes. The things I do during summer vacation. Anyways, to the game! Let's get this show on the road.

8:30 It's game time! But not really, because God forbid anything starts on time.

8:35 I leave the room for two minutes and in that time my dad has come in, changed the channel, and fallen asleep forcing me to extract the remote from his grasp Mission Impossible style. Fortunately the game hasn't started yet and I haven't missed anything.

8:41 LeBron scores the first basket. Not a great start, but it's too early for me to begin hitting the alcohol.

8:43 Ray Allen airballs a leaner then doesn't get back on defense leading to a layup on the other end for Wade. Looking crippled as ever I see.

8:48 Nice dime by Rondo to KG for a bucket to tie the score at 5. With Bosh out Garnett is going to have a huge size advantage in this series over Miami's big men, and if he doesn't take advantage it will be a clean sweep for the Heat.

8:51 10-5 Miami at the midway point of the first quarter. The Celtics are shooting 18% from the field so far. Something tells me that's not going to cut it.

8:55 Allen bricks a wide open three. If I had a dollar for every time I've seen that this postseason, I wouldn't be eating worms at baseball practice for $30. But that's another story for another time.

9:01 I know the Celtics' game is slowing it down and grinding it out and Miami is the team that likes to play up tempo and get out in transition, but part of me wonders if it would be better if the C's made a concerted effort to get on the break and get some easier buckets instead of trying to win every game 78-75.

9:02 Mike Breen just brought up how Tommy Heinsohn compared Greg Steimsma during a broadcast early in the season. I thought all tapes of that had comment had been destroyed by the ghost of Red Auerbach.

9:06 Miami leads 21-11 after one quarter of play. Boston looking a little (understatement alert!) sluggish to start, shooting only 25% for the quarter. Meanwhile LeBron has 13 points on 6/9 shooting. So far the Heat are getting to the rim at will and getting a lot of easy looks at the rim.

9:11 The Heat have gone EXTREMELY small here to start the 2nd quarter, with Chalmers, Wade, Miller, James, and Haslem. Garnett has to cover Mike Miller, and he promptly drains a three over the Big Ticket to make the score 24-14. Yikes.

9:14 Another three for Miller. Time out Celtics. This game is going to a dark, dark place.

9:18 ESPN just cut to a highlight package of last night's Spurs-Thunder game which consisted of a layup by Parker, a layup by Ginobili, and a wide open three pointer by Stephen Jackson. Honestly, it's not going to matter who wins the Eastern Conference this year, nobody is beating the Spurs right now. They are locked in.

9:21 DOOLING WITH A THREE! EVERYBODY FLEX! GET EXCITED!

9:27 Rondo flies in for an offensive rebound and putback and then KG gets called for a bogus technical because David Stern has apparently decided the fix is in.

9:29 After Rondo hits an elbow jumper Lebron hits a little hook over Pierce. This could be a huge postseason legacy-wise for James assuming he can lead the Heat to a title. More on that later.

9:33: Both teams are trading buckets right now. Give the Celtics credit, they're hanging in there, even though the Heat have managed to keep them at arms length.

9:34 Mike Miller fouls Ray Allen on a three pointer, followed by Allen promptly missing 2 of 3 from the line. He's 3/7 shooting free throws tonight. I didn't even know that was possible.

9:35 Another bogus technical, this time on Doc. I guess the referees thought the game was getting a little too close. Fortunately Mario Chalmers missed the foul shot and and Mike Miller reverted back to form with a traveling so no harm was done. 2:58 left in the half, Heat by 5.

9:43 Lucasfilm totally used a mold of Joel Anthony's head for the crystal skulls in the fourth Indiana Jones movie.

9:45 Rondo picks his way through the defense and flicks a pass out to Pierce for an easy three pointer. Boston only trailing by 2 now.

9:47 Miami up 48-46 at the half. Impressions so far: Boston stepped it up big time after an exceptionally shitty first half. They could very well steal this game. Hopefully they go to KG more. He's had his way down low and in the mid-range so far. Also, LeBron James is very good at basketball (He has 17/4/3) which brings me to my LeBron rant that I promised you earlier.

From a legacy standpoint, this has the chance to be an absolutely massive postseason for the 3 time MVP. If the dominoes fall his way, LeBron will have beaten his biggest rival from his draft class and his foil since high school (Carmelo Anthony)in Round 1, led the Heat (banged up without Chris Bosh) out of a 2-1 hole against a very game Pacers team (including a ridiculous 40/18/9 in a vital Game 4) in Round 2, beaten Boston (the team that has been a seemingly constant obstacle for James the last 4 seasons) and their future Hall of Fame small forward Paul Pierce, who also happens to be the 2nd best player at that position over the last decade in the Eastern Conference Finals, AND then in the Finals he and his team will have either beaten Oklahoma City and defeated his greatest challenger to his MVP trophy (Durant) or beaten the most consistently great team of the last 15 years during what may be their best season ever in the Spurs. As of right now if the Heat win the Finals that would be the scenario. It also would mean we'd be tortured by ESPN's typical LeBron overkill for the next 12 months but that's besides the point.

10:03 The officials reviewed a made basket by Joel Anthony and rightly decided that it was still on his finger tips as the shot clock expired, so we'll begin the second half tied at 46.

10:06 At halftime I said the Celtics should go to Garnett more in the second half. He promptly missed his first two shots of the half and missed them badly. The lesson, as always, is that I am an idiot.

10:10 Rondo misses another layup and Battier nails a three. I love Rondo and everything he does for the Celtics, but he can be so frustrating sometimes.

10:13 Timeout Celtics after back to back easy layups by James and Wade. 9-2 run by Miami, they lead by 7. Celtics can't win with consecutive defensive lapses like that.

10:20 A third ridiculous technical (Rondo this time). I'm speechless.

10:22 Rondo does his patented ball fake layup move which shakes Shane "Past His Prime" Battier but then gets annihilated by a killer weak side block from LeBron "Very Much In His Prime" James. I think I might cry.

10:28 Pierce gets destroyed on his way to the hoop. No call. Somebody get Donaghy on the phone, see if he knows anything about this.

10:32 Miami ends the quarter on a 10-3 run to take control of this one 72-61. LeBron has 27 points and 8 boards. I am feeling physically ill.

10:38 Dooling takes a three and misses it horribly. The Avery Bradley injury is looming larger and larger with each passing minute that A. Ray Allen is hobbling around being a defensive liability and shooting line drives at the rim and B. Keyon Dooling is getting anything resembling significant playing time.

10:44 The Celtics are back down to about 35% shooting. That might have been passable against Philadelphia, but the Sixers, unlike the Heat, suck a bag of dicks.

10:49 Finally the Celtics switch to a zone, or as it's better known, the defense that gives Miami fits every time it's utilized. Of course right as I type that Wade crosses over, splits the zone, steps back and kisses an incredible 15 footer off the glass. 82-67 Miami.

10:55 Bad news for the Celtics: LeBron and Wade have decided to take over on both sides of the ball. This comeback is looking less and less likely.

10:58 Jeff Van Gundy hit the nail on the head. Far too many offensive boards for the Heat, who are a small team to begin with. Nobody on the Celtics boxes out, and I hate to sound like a dude who belongs on Social Security, but if you don't box out and get bodies on bodies and protect the defensive glass, it puts a ton of strain on your defense.

11:05 Marquis Daniels is in the game in the fourth quarter. Doc has given up on this one.

11:07 Final horn sounds, Miami takes Game 1 93-79. LeBron with 31/13, KG with 23/10, and Ray Allen went 1-7 from the field.

Final thoughts:
I saw a lot of tweets and Facebook statuses complaining about the referees. While the three technical fouls were, for lack of a better term, straight up retarded, it wasn't the refs who shot 39.5% from the field, 52.4% from the line and got outrebounded by 15. Chalk it up to tired legs from the quick turnaround between Game 7 of the Philly series and Game 1 of this series if you want, but the fact of the matter is the Celtics need to play better if they want to even think about winning a game in this Conference Finals, let alone the entire series. Miami looked efficient, aggressive, and just overall better. Hopefully the Celtics can flip the script and grab Game 2, otherwise this series could be over in a hurry.

Celtics-Cavs: Its on!

When the Celtics closed out the Dwayne Wade and the Miami Heat last Sunday, there was only one thought that crossed my mind: Bring on LeBron. And I got my wish when a few hours later the Cavaliers took care of business and finished their series with the Bulls (and that ridiculous and annoying Joakim Noah. God I hate that guy). That gave us the second round matchup that many Celtics fans feared getting when the C's were shuffling down the stretch. Cleveland, the NBA's best team in the regular season, versus the 2008 champion Boston Celtics, an aging contender looking to make a last run at the title. The Big Three (featuring Rajon Rondo) taking on all-world talent and two time MVP LeBron James. So in preparation to what should be a great series, I've decided to break it down blow by blow, position by position. Here we go:


POINT GUARD: RAJON RONDO VS. MO WILLIAMS
Okay, anyone who knows me knows that I am going to be extremely biased here. Rondo is my favorite player on the Celtics and my second favorite player in the league (trailing only the incomparable Tim Duncan). Don't get me wrong, I think Mo Williams is a good player and is the perfect match for the drive and dish game of LeBron. Williams is a very good three point shooter and had a great series against the Bulls. Both Rondo and Williams are All-Star caliber players. But I can't emphasize enough how much Rajon Rondo has done for the 2010 Boston Celtics. He's been the one constant in a season filled with inconsistencies. He's run the show night in and night out, and might just have been the most valuable player for Boston this year (for the record, Rasheed was the least valuable player. But you probably knew that anyway). I'm taking Rondo in this matchup, and you can't convince me otherwise.

EDGE: Celtics

SHOOTING GUARD: RAY ALLEN VS. ANTHONY PARKER
Okay, I understand on paper this looks like a mismatch, and honestly, it is. Ray Allen had an excellent second half, and should be hot coming off a series against Miami where he couldn't miss. Plus he's a Hall of Famer. Anthony Parker is a role player. He's a good perimeter defender, he hits open threes, he's tailor-made to play on Cleveland. However, he's no Ray Allen. If Shuttlesworth shoots like he did against the Heat, then the Celtics have a VERY good shot at stealing this series and the ring right off of LeBron's finger.

EDGE: Celtics

SMALL FORWARD: PAUL PIERCE VS. LEBRON JAMES
It was nice to see Pierce got to drink from the fountain of youth. For the first time in a while, he looked healthy and was taking the ball to the hole with the enthusiasm that we've grown used to seeing. If this was any other matchup, I'd think long and hard about giving the Celtics the edge here. Unfortunately, LeBron is the best player in the NBA. I know, he's got issues with his elbow, and I know, Pierce out dueled LeBron before, but things are different this year. James is on a mission. He's been putting up arcade stats all year, plus he's coming off a series where he averaged 39-10-9 in games 2, 3, and 4. He's been so good this year that my buddy Pat Davis (who is also known as the Panda), a known Kobe lover, has finally agreed with me that James has surpassed Bryant. Regardless, this is a great matchup and hopefully its at the level of the 2008 Eastern Conference Semis. But I gotta go with LeBron here, simply because he's the best in the league.

EDGE: Cavs

POWER FORWARD: KEVIN GARNETT VS. ANTAWN JAMISON
I'm going to sound crazy here, but I'm taking Jamison. I know, I'm just as surprised as you are. No, I haven't lost my mind. Listen. KG hasn't really been KG since his knee injury last season. Sure, he's shown flashes, and that's all fine and good, but don't be fooled. He can't do it for an entire game. Not anymore. I'm hoping that he can turn back the clock and give us some vintage Garnett performances, but I just don't know. Meanwhile Jamison has been the best deadline acquisition this year. He's a perfect fit for the Cavs as he can stretch the floor with shooting and is also a talented post player. He gives Cleveland the versatility that they lacked last year. And I still can't figure out how he gets the ball in the basket with that crazy scoop/floater/layup thing that he lofts over defenders with ease. Any time you have a player who does things you never seen before you have to take him, right? Right? I'm really trying to talk myself into this one.

SLIGHT EDGE: Cavs

CENTER: KENDRICK PERKINS VS. SHAQUILLE O'NEAL
Perk's going to have his hands full in this series. No more picking on Jermaine O'Neal's corpse. Although, it's not like he's facing Shaq circa 1999-2002. This version of O'Neal isn't going to crush anyone for 35 minutes a game. Current Shaq goes in the game for 20-22 minutes, tries to get the opposing team's big men in foul trouble, and hopes to pick up about 12 points and 7 or so rebounds in the process. Not to mention that Perkins is probably one a handful of players strong enough to muscle up with the likes of Shaq and Dwight Howard. And O'Neal was thoroughly outplayed by Joakim Noah (I feel sick just mentioning his name) for the last four games of the Cavs-Bulls series...

EDGE: Even

CELTICS BENCH VS. CAVALIERS BENCH
Fortunately for the Celtics, Glen Davis has decided to show up for the playoffs. Which is good, because it's saved me and countless other Celtic fans from having to watch that lazy thief Rasheed Wallace lumber up and down the court. Unfortunately for the Celtics, because Sheed has packed it in and Marquis Daniels and Nate Robinson are useless (what a shocker), they're pretty much stuck with a bench rotation that consists of Davis, Tony Allen (my least favorite Celtic pre-Sheed) whatever minutes Wallace gives them, and 37 year old Michael Finley. Oh boy. On the other side, the Cavs have a diverse unit that has hustlers like Anderson Varejao, J.J. Hickson, and Jamario Moon (if Moon hits his threes like he did against the Bulls then the Cavs become very dangerous); a good perimeter scorer in "Craziest NBA Player" Finalist Delonte West, and the one of the better shooting centers of all time in Zydrunas Ilgauskas. This is a mismatch.

EDGE: Cavs (and it's not even close)

COACHING: DOC RIVERS VS. MIKE BROWN
I'll keep it short and sweet. Doc has a ring. Brown does not. Doc, while he may not be a great coach, certainly hasn't destroyed a good team. Brown is lucky he has LeBron bailing him out. Doc is a good coach. Brown is not.

EDGE: Celtics.

BOTTOM LINE
I was impressed with the Celtics in round one. They finally started playing championship defense, and showed some heart for the first time all year. If they can keep it up, they have a real shot at this thing. However, I can't help but think that this is finally LeBron's year. I hope I'm wrong, but the Cavs are just too deep, too motivated, and the Celtics will have to play an almost perfect series to beat Cleveland. And from what I've seen this year, I'm not so sure that's going to happen. Boston will need some big performances from its stars if they want to win this series.

VERDICT: Cavs in 7, but I really hope I'm wrong on this one.

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Celtics Turn Up The Heat

Its April vacation this week, and there's nothing going on. You know what that means? I think the time is right for my first ever Simmons-style running diary. And what better topic area could I write about than the Boston Celtics and the Miami Heat facing off in Game 2 of their first round series? Here goes nothing!

8:06 p.m. We're coming to you live from the Boston Sports Fan's basement! The Celtics and Heat are just about to get things underway. Glen Davis is in the starting lineup for the suspended Kevin Garnett, which is certainly better than seeing that out of shape slob Sheed in there. I still can't believe KG threw that elbow. He's got to be smarter than that. It better not cost the C's game 2.

8:08 Pierce pulls up and hits a three for the first basket of the game. I have a feeling he's in for a big game tonight after Quentin Richardson's comments about how Pierce is an "actress" (which were pretty accurate, but that's neither here nor there).

8:10 RONDO PULLS UP FOR A THREE AT THE SHOT CLOCK BUZZER AND NAILS IT! I LOVE THIS GUY! WHY AM I TYPING IN ALL CAPS ALREADY?

8:13 Rondo hits Perk with a beautiful fast break lob pass for an easy layup. I dare you to find a better point guard on the break not named Steve Nash than Rondo. Go on. I dare you. Timeout Miami, as Boston has jumped out to an 11-4 lead.

8:17 Jermaine O'Neal's corpse has swatted Glen Davis 4 times already. Fantastic. If the Celts lose tonight, I'm blaming Garnett.

8:23 Sheed comes in and immediately bricks an 18 footer, quite possibly the most predictable outcome to a shot of these playoffs. Then Miami takes the long rebound and turns it into a fast break 3 by Richardson. I swear, whenever Wallace comes into the game whatever lead the Celtics have evaporates within 2 minutes. Every time.

8:29 Pierce with an awkward running jump hook thing for two. He has 7 points here early. Then down on the other end after a Miami basket Rasheed is called for a technical. I hate this guy. Why is he still allowed to play? Why couldn't the Celtics have signed Jamal Crawford or Anthony Parker? And to think we still have to watch two more seasons of this. I feel sick. 23-20 Celtics.

8:33 The first quarter ends with the score tied at 23. Wade quietly has put up 8 points. Early trends: The Celtics are looking a little lethargic on their rotations, as Richardson and Chalmers have been left wide open on multiple occasions; Ray Allen needs to shoot; Jermaine O'Neal must have taken caffeine pills before the game because he's all over the place with 5 blocks. And Sheed continues to be useless.

8:38 Sheed posts up and scores. Why he insists on ignoring his killer post game and just sits at the three point line clanking threes off the back of the rim remains a mystery to me.

8:46 Ray takes his first shot of the game...and swishes a three. The Celtics need to get him more involved here, unless they want Pierce and Rondo carrying the offense tonight. I'm not so sure I want that. Celtics lead 31-29.

8:52 Miami turns the ball over for the 3rd straight possession, and they haven't scored in the last four minutes of game time. Baby Davis lays it up and in (he seems to have recovered from
Jermaine O'Neal repeatedly smacking the ball back at his face earlier) Celtics lead by 6.

8:54 Davis swishes a little jumper and its a 12-0 Boston run! Clark Kellogg just called him the "Ticket Stub". I like the sound of that. Then after a missed shot by Wade, Ray Allen nets another 3. The lead is now 11. It's becoming more and more obvious that nobody on the Heat can score other than Wade.

8:59 Shuttlesworth cuts to the rim, blows by Chalmers (who I've decided has to be one of the worst starting point guards in the league) and lays it in for an easy 2. Its a 19-0 run for Boston, and a shell shocked Eric Spoelstra calls a timeout. The Ticket Stub has 10 points and 6 rebounds and finally looks like the Glen Davis from the second half of last year.

9:04 Miami is 12/37 from the field so far in the first half, make it 13/37 as Michael Beasley drains a jumper to end the 21-0 run. The Celtics are in the drivers seat now as they lead 46-31. Although, the way that the Celtics have held onto leads this year means that this game is far from over.

9:08 Wade bricks a three, he's 5/9 for 10 points, but really hasn't been that effective. The Celtics are throwing the kitchen sink at him, and it's working. I mean, c'mon, would you be scared of Wade kicking it out to the likes of Mario Chalmers or Carlos Arroyo? I didn't think so. And that's why D-Wade is leaving after this year unless Miami brings in someone else.

9:10 The teams head into the locker room with Boston leading 49-33. Glen "The Ticket Stub" Davis leads all scorers with 14 points. Davis has also added 6 boards. Meanwhile Rasheed Wallace has been in the game for 7 minutes. His +/- is -11. NEGATIVE FREAKING ELEVEN! And the Celtics have a 16 point lead! He's so sensationally bad I'm speechless. Also, the Celtics out rebounded Miami 29-15. I don't think I realized how bad the Heat were until this game. With the exception of Wade, the rest of the team is shooting 9/32 (23%). Right now Bulls and Knicks fans are salivating. There's no way that Wade stays in Miami after the season. Also, whatever Jermaine O'Neal took before the game must have worn off. He's 1/8 from the field and has gone back to being a zombie with shot knees.

9:27 Quick side note: Charles Barkley might just be the funniest man alive.

9:32 And we're underway here in the second half. Clark Kellogg just said that Dwayne Wade's 9 shot attempts were not enough. And while I agree with him, it's not Wade's fault that nobody on the team can hit uncontested jumpers.

9:36 Davis is fouled on a transition layup. He's 9-10 from the line tonight. I don't think I can emphasize enough how great he's been (and how awful Rasheed has been)

9:39 And now Davis drains a 20 footer. Big Baby has 17 points. Kevin Garnett who? Timeout Miami, with the score 56-37.

9:41 I absolutely love those NBA Playoffs commercials where they play little sound clips from press conferences to a beat (that's my focus focus focus). Pretty awesome stuff.

9:44 Ray Allen drains back to back treyballs, and it's 62-37! Another timeout by Miami! Allen has 16 points on 6-8 shooting. The Celtics' championship defense looks like it's back, although I can't decide whether the C's are playing that good defense or if Miami just sucks. Probably a combination of both.

9:51 Boston is on a 18-0 run, and they now lead by 32. I still cant believe how well Glen Davis is playing (he's posting a 21 point and 7 'bound night). Ray Ray has picked up the slack and is 5/6 from downtown with 19 points.

9:54 Make that 6/7.

9:58 Wade hits a three to give him 18 points on the night. He's the only Heat player in double figures. Hear that? That's the sound of Wade selling his house in Miami after the game.

10:00 I wish I could put a price tag on Erik Spoelstra's face right now, but I can't. There really are some things that money can't buy.

10:02 Allen hits ANOTHER shot from deep. He's 7/8 and I'm pretty sure he's made 6 in a row, but I lost count. I think it's safe to say he's in the discussion for greatest shooter of all time. He has 17 points in the 3rd quarter alone.

10:04 Wade slams home a putback off a rebound to make it 84-59. He's heating up, but it's way too little, way too late. In other news, the Red Sox are losing (again) 6-4 at home to Texas. Apparently they have allowed 8 walks and 9 steals. I will now light myself on fire.

10:10 The buzzer sounds and at the end of three quarters, the Celtics have a 26 point lead. I think it's safe to say that this one's juuuust about wrapped up. Of course, whenever I say things like that I jinx the team, so I'm going to keep my mouth shut until this one's really over. Rondo has only 5 points, but he also has 11 assists and 6 rebounds, and has controlled the tempo of the game.

10:14 Darnell McDonald smokes one over the monster and the Red Sox have tied the game at 6! Now I have just one question. Who the hell is Darnell McDonald?

10:17 RONDO FOR THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He has 8 points now. No, I don't know why I'm so excited.

10:21 TNT is showing the Suns-Blazers game (I don't blame them), so I've been forced to switch to ComcastSportsNet. It's Tommy Heinsohn time!

10:23 Erik Spoelstra still looks dazed and confused, like someone just took a crap in a brown paper bag, lit the bag on fire, and left it on his front doorstep.

10:24 Sheed lets a routine pass slip right through his fingers, then Tony Allen stole the pass in transition, then missed a wide open layup. Ladies and gentlemen, my two least favorite Celtics players!

10:27 All the Celtics starters are out now, which means its time for Nate Robinson and Michael Finley to close this one out. Gotta love them NBA blowouts. Celtics lead this one 99-66 with 5:52 left to go.

10:30 Surprising stat of the night: Kendrick Perkins has a game high +/- rating of +43. That's a pretty impressive number. (In case you were wondering, plus/minus is my favorite non-traditional basketball stat). Also, the Celtics have out rebounded Miami 46-24.

10:32 SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED........misses the three (his +/- is still -11). Beasley hits a three to join Chalmers and Wade as the only Heat players in double figures. Wade has more points (29) than Chalmers and Beasley combined.

10:41 The final horn sounds, with the final score being Celtics 106, Heat 77. Apparently Boston heard my mini-rant at the end of the first quarter, as they closed out on the shooters (Miami shot only 38 %) and Ray Allen shot the ball, and shot it well (25 points on 9/13 shooting, including 7/9 from beyond the arc). Glen Davis filled in nicely for KG, providing 23 points and 8 rebounds, as well as countless high energy plays.

So what does this dominating win mean for the Celtics? Nothing, other than giving them a 2-0 series lead and some confidence heading to Miami. That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if the Celtics come out flat in Game 3. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if they won handily in Game 3. I honestly couldn't tell you anything about what's going to happen in the next game (other than Rasheed Wallace will suck, you can be sure of that one). This season has just been too unpredictable. But one thing is for sure: If the Celtics can bring this kind of defensive intensity and energy like they have in the first two games in this series to the rest of the postseason, then they they can beat anyone this year. Even Cleveland.


(Oh and the Red Sox won 7-6 on a walk-off hit by that Darnell McDonald guy. Things are looking up.)